by Sometimes, the hardest decisions can lead to the most freeing outcomes. Whether it’s a toxic friend, an overbearing relative, or a partner who brings more harm than happiness, cutting someone off can feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders. But what happens next?
Safe Relief
U/werewere-kokako: “Yes. The only way to stop my dad hurting me was to stop giving him opportunities to do so. He was never going to change. He was never going to be a good person. He was always going to be cruel, spiteful, and emotionally unstable.
I don’t feel any guilt or sadness. I don’t miss him. I feel… relief. I still struggle with insomnia, but it’s easier to sleep knowing that he is out of my life and he can’t hurt me anymore. The first night I realised that I was safe, I felt all the anxiety flow out of me in a rush and I passed out from sheer exhaustion.”
Be You
U/Odd-Comfortable-6134: “Absolutely. Remember kids, sometimes what a parent calls ‘love’ is actually poison, and when you stop accepting it, life becomes something wonderful.
Live your life for yourself. You have to live in your body and deal with the consequences of your actions, so don’t let anybody bully you into what they think you are. Be you.”
Respecting No Contact
U/ShirwillJack: “They cut contact with me. I got upset, but my husband’s response was ‘But that’s a good thing, right?’ It was hard to see at the time, but he was right. I used to wake up with daily headaches and those stopped. My skin cleared up and my hair became fuller.
Effort Shift
U/Rokyt: “Didn’t really change all that much except my weekends are more free now so take that as you will. Not fully cut out.
Toxic Cuts
U/IBringTheFunk: “Always a good idea to cut off toxic people. I’m pretty good at spotting s—– behaviours in people these days, unfortunately I’m rarely wrong.
If you aren’t sure how it’d make you feel or if you would struggle without them, try cutting them out for a week or two and see how you fare. Toxic people will tend to need you, not the other way around.”
Positive Energy
U/ke-_560: “We were four friends in a group and one guy never really appreciated anything like if we achieved something he would boast about doing it better or he would say that the achievement is very small,
we never realised but eventually when we kicked him out of the group, there was suddenly a new positive energy and everything was way better then before. So yeah cutting that particular person off did make life better”
Unbalanced Waters
U/AgingLolita: “Yes. She has BPD and I have autism. Her constant need for attention was sucking me dry. Her emotionality was frightening. Her sudden complete changes of opinion about people were completely disconcerting.
Peace Restored
U/acorngirl: “It did. I didn’t have to listen to their irrational outbursts or see them verbally attack their partner anymore. So much negativity. They needed more talk therapy and to go back on their prescribed and effective medication. They wouldn’t. And they kept getting meaner and more unpredictable. A lot of jealousy and projection.
It was such a relief to not have that tension in my day to day life. I miss the friend I used to have – we’d been friends for more than 30 years and were really close. But I don’t miss who they became. They claim to have learned their lesson, but they had been given plenty of chances before and never changed. I don’t think they learned anything except that they didn’t like consequences. Unfortunately. I don’t hate them but I’m just done. It’s a lot quieter and nicer now.”
Cutting Ties
U/Charlie24601: “H— yes! Much of my redneck family, I cut off because they are just not good people. My own sister because she betrayed my wife. People and family I’ve known who became Maggats.
A wise man once told me (paraphrased), ‘Just because they share a few chromosomes with me does NOT mean they are worth my time, or respect. Those much be earned.’ LOTS of negativity from my life is gone now, and I honeslty haven’t been happier.”
Weight Lifted
U/little_mascara88: “As soon as I made that decision, the weight that lifted from me was immeasurable. I realised I had spent years having to be extremely careful about everything I said and did around this person.
I saw how anxious I had become as a result of them. I look back and see how much I had changed during that period of them in my life. It’s been nearly 6 years since I cut them off and I have not regretted it once.”
Red Flags
U/sownar: “I’ve been in a situationship for 5 years with someone I genuinely thought loved me, and cared for me. I endured lots of stress, and problems because of that person for ages thinking this is the one and it’s part of life to face those issues, and little did I know I was wrong, she kept me isolated, and made it hard for me to make any friendships around. Eventually things broke, so I can tell you for sure a 100% things gets better when you cut the wrong person/people out of your life.
I started taking care of my mental health, and to not let people gaslight me. I’ve started doing things for myself, and calling the wrong out, cut off some toxic individuals out. one more thing don’t ignore red flags no matter what, life is too short, live it the way you want to live it.”
Better Off Without Her
U/Purple-Enthusiasm380: “Yes it did. We used to be best friends, but she was always envious and jealous of me. It took me a long time to realize that, despite the fact that everyone else had told me already that she doesn’t wish me good.
I had opportunities thanks to her to exploit my talent of singing and I even fell in love with playing guitar and learned to play on my own, but because of it she envied me. She was flirting with men I fancied before and didn’t care if that hurt me deeply. So now after 3 years of not speaking I finally realized that I’m better off without her.”
Live for You
U/AdventurousAd4297: “YESSSS, do it!!! You will feel so much better after. I am no contact with most of my immediate family and am 100% happier and can freely live my life now. I’m not worried about trying to please them all and am doing what I want, when I want with no judgement.
Drama Free
U/OutlandishnessFun408: “My life improved dramatically. No more phone calls at all hours of the day and night. No more drama. I never have to worry or care what lies she is telling people about me behind my back. She gave me massive amounts of anxiety. She seemed a little overdramatic at first, but little did I know she was a complete narcissist and a pathological liar who also had a penchant for stalking people. And we’re not talking small little white lies here,( although there were plenty of those) we’re talking life destroying lies.
I learned a valuable lesson: people who don’t respect your boundaries, don’t deserve to be in your life. Also, if someone who you just met trauma dumps on you, and always seems to be surrounded by drama, it’s them. They’re the problem.”
Emotional Drain
U/ZLovecraftx: “Yes. They used me for free counseling while pursuing a relationship that was toxic and harmful for both involved. I cut them off once, they messaged me in crisis when the relationship tanked, and then the next day they were back together. Aaaaand I was out of time and empathy.
Letting Go
U/Over_Hurry3679: “Cutting off my toxic friend was like finally removing a rock from my shoe—I didn’t realize how much it was dragging me down until it was gone.
Suddenly, I had more energy for the people who actually brought joy to my life, and I rediscovered hobbies I had put on hold, like having fun without that constant drama running in the background. Sometimes, letting go is the best way to grow.”
Heinous Friend
U/FatRascal_: “At the time, yes, but his life fell apart quite significantly after that and the level or remorse he feels for that one (quite significant) stupid mistake is incredible. He left a voicemail on a friend’s mothers phone that was so heinous that the police got involved. Ho rrible? Yes. Horrific? Yes. Criminal? Absolutely.
He was 17 at the time and he got drunk and called a few people leaving heinous messages on all our voicemails. One of those people was my friend’s landline. He mentioned having ‘unconsensual relations’ with his mum and his mum was the one to listen to it. We were all absolutely livid at the time, and for good reason. He was entirely shut out and left alone from them on. Over the last decade and more he’s gained about 200lbs and dove into a——— heavy. His life was absolutely destroyed.”
Hey Jealousy
U/paradigm11381: “Yup. Was friends with this person for over 20 years after realizing how toxic she was. Her way of doing things were always so passive aggressive. Things hit the fan when she unfriended me on all social media and then was surprised I didn’t give a s—.
After the fact, I found out she did it to prove to her then on/off again bf that she could/would. I then found out that she was talking s— about every aspect of my life to the friends that I introduced her to aka my friends. At the source of it, she was jealous about my life – from my friends to my fiancé etc. because how could someone who looks like her not have the same (or better) things when I look like me. 🤷🏻♀️”
Prioritizing Peace
U/PhobosIsDead: “Hey was a highschool friend of mine that, over the years after graduation, I realized was kind of a bully. My breaking point was when I started taking meds for my depression and taking other steps, and he kept trying to talk me out of it, saying that I just need Ed to work out with him and I’d feel better.
