by The human mind is an incredible tool, capable of subtle persuasion and unexpected tricks. Sometimes, just the right phrase or approach can make all the difference in conversations, conflicts, or even everyday interactions.
Left-Handed Advantage
U/Gaamalii: “I teach throwing tomahawks at summer camps, anytime I see someone throwing left handed I always have a tomahawk to the side. If they miss/don’t get it to stick, I always make a little show of ‘Oh, you’re using the right handed tomahawks while being left handed, here try this one.’
And they always throw better after that. Then the adults always come over after asking me what the difference is.”
Exit Strategy
U/ickarous: “My boss at a retail store taught me this one on how to deal with customers when they won’t stop talking to you because they have nothing else to do with their day.
While they are talking with you, start walking towards the door while responding to them. They will naturally follow, you open the door for them (while still talking to them) and they will walk through…you follow. Now you are both outside the store and you say ‘Okay well have a great day!’ and walk back inside.”
Silent Probing
U/daminiskos0309: “When doing one on ones with people. Especially when you want to get to the bottom of something. Say nothing. Ask an initial question. Let them talk. Say nothing in reply or something small that they can’t change the tangent of the conversation. Most people become uncomfortable and will fill the silence by talking more.
You gain a lot more from this that you would in some instances than by asking probing questions. Doesn’t work on extreme introverts though. They don’t mind the silence.”
Power of Silence
U/hybridst0rm: “Stop talking. If you are negotiating with someone, even over something small, and it’s not going the way you want, just look at them and listen. They will get to a point where they have laid out their position and know that you are unhappy with it.
Let them be uncomfortable with the silence and keep talking themselves into a worse position. Works very well with sales guys delivering less than optimal offers.”
Odd Triggers
U/euaeuo: “I like to put things I can’t forget on top of or in things that I’ll use that day. Like my car keys or wallet I’ll put in the shoes I intend to wear that day, for instance. That’s a really obvious example but I’ll do it with a tool or something that I need for that specific job that day and that way even if I’ve forgotten, when I go to work that day BAM – I’m forced to remember it.
Or doing absurd things that make no sense to remind me to do things. Like putting my coffee mug upside down in the morning is my reminder to also not forget to grab mg breakfast from the fridge. Absurdity / abnormality is memorable.”
Favor Logic
U/loklanc: “The small favours one works, ask for something small, especially something symbolic of hospitality, like making a cup of tea. Be overtly grateful and as long as you don’t come off as lazy, people will like you more.
You do nice things for people you like, so if you find yourself doing something nice for someone, it must mean you like them. Fuzzy brained social monkey logic.”
The Bystander-effect
U/yoyotje: “While it’s not necessarily an answer it’s still important: The Bystander-effect. If something like an emergency happens, there may be a crowd forming around it. The bigger this crowd, the less likely it is for someone to help the person in need. But if one person from this crowd starts helping, more will follow.
So if you’re ever in a crowd and you see someone needing help, BE THE FIRST TO HELP because no one else is going to do it, more will follow.”
Path Games
U/joungsteryoey: “If someone is walking towards you on a narrow sidewalk and they’re taking up the middle, walk the middle yourself. Often they’ll compensate and stick to one side, so you can take the other.
If they actually hold the middle and are ready to collide with you, they’re not worth actually confronting so let their grumpy selves pass. If someone is bent over their phone walking towards you, you can shake your arms or cough or clear your throat to catch their peripheral, sometimes.”
Staring Cues
U/WhoBeingLovedIsPoor: “I was told in my psych class in college thing someone staring at a forehead most often means the person staring is upset with who they’re staring at. And that’s staring at the lips means they are attracted to the person.
Additionally, it can work backwards we’re staring at those locations may cause those feelings in the one staring. Not sure if any of that is true, but I do try to stay right between people’s eyes when I’m having trouble focusing on them.”
Kind Nudges
U/RunZombieBabe: “I love subtly making my coworkers like each other with very, very small manipulations nobody questions. Like telling them something they did good or what is great about them and adding, X thinks that, too. Doing the same thing with Y, telling them X said so. I know it sounds terrible but I love it when they start to really act nicer to each other and becoming friendly over the time.
You have to be very patient and don’t rush it, keep it very casual and simple, just to leave a positive impression they get of each other. At one point it stops being a lie because they really say nice things about each other.”
Meal Leverage
U/EmperinoPenguino: “Asking for a favor while someone is eating or just finished eating. Their ape brain is happy that food is in belly & they are more agreeable. Works better if you are the one who provided the food
It has a 100% success rate so far for me… Dont do it often. They will catch on. Edit: Obviously, you can’t offer a bag of skittles & be like, can you help me move all my s— from my old apartment into my new apartment? Its for little favors”
Guessing Game
U/murphynl: “My boyfriend used this on me for an embarrassing long time before I caught on. Instead of asking me what I wanted to today or where I wanted to go for supper (because my answer many times have been ‘oh I’m up for anything/wherever you want to go), he would instead say ‘Guess where we are going today’.
I would name a place and if he liked the idea he would say I got it, if not he’d say guess again until it was a place we both wanted to go lol. Was a great little work around for two chronic people pleasers?”
Five-Minute Rule
U/Sweaty-Secretary-601: “If you have trouble motivating yourself to do something like learn a skill (instrument, language etc.) tell yourself ‘Ok, I’ll sit down and do this for just five minutes’
A lot of the time you’ll end up going for much longer than five minutes, but even if you don’t it’s still five minutes of practice in whatever the h— you wanted to learn in the first place.”
Smile Shift
U/rippa76: “If you are getting frustrated, force a smile. I think it’s ‘motor neurons’ that control this, could be wrong. Anyways, your brain recognizes some actions as connected to mindstate (tense muscles = anxiety, smiling = happy) and will operate backwards.
You can relax your muscles to gain calm and you can smile your way to relief from the anger response (source: teacher who smiled at a LOT of f—— kids)”
Write to Remember
U/qtprince: “Writing things by hand is also known for helping memorization. Whenever there’s something truly important I need to remember/know, I’ll write it down 3x-5x over. Super helpful when I was in acting classes. Played two major characters in one of the shows, and they both had two separate speeches that spanned three pages each.
Reverse Alphabet
U/nolemomno_melon: “If you find yourself in a stressful situation and need to clear your mind, try to recite the alphabet backwards in your head. From experience, it helps shift your focus and calm you down.
I’ve done it that many times that I can recite it backwards as quickly as I can forwards, which has the added benefit of impressing my kids immensely!”
Frustration Honesty
U/sedimentary-j: “When I worked in customer service, I discovered that getting angry at customers could be beneficial.
Like raising my voice and saying, ‘I’m getting frustrated right now, because I really want to help you, but I feel like you don’t believe me and don’t want to listen to what I’m saying!’ It helps people feel like you’re invested in the conversation.”
Empathy Tactics
U/captainflak: “I often talk with people who are upset about something, so I use the following four strategies: Start off with the phrase, ‘So what’s going on?’ It’s casual, chatty and lets them set the agenda. Tell them ‘So you’re upset about ‘ they will either confirm this and feel heard or tell you no and follow it up by what they are upset about.’
Repeat the last couple of words of their sentences. It keeps them talking and they feel like you understand what they’re saying even if you don’t. If you ever need to get information out of someone, tell them you already know the secret and just make something up. The urge to correct you will be too great and they’ll spill the beans.”
First & Last Impressions
U/janes_america: “Use primacy and recency to your advantage. Primacy is the first impression people have of you. Recency is the most recent impression people have of you. These are most impactful as people construct their current opinion of you.
For example, if you nail your job for the first month (primacy) and are really on top of it right before performance evaluations (recency), your boss won’t pay much attention to the middle period even if you perform at a meh level. They will focus on their first and most recent perceptions.”
